i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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