I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize