I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
The adults are the big ones right?
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