yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
