i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
