We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
