Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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