pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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