Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Randomize
