i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
