Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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