some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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