We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
