they need to just BURY HIM!
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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