don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
