What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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