I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
