Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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