So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize