you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
do herpes really smell.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
