Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize