I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
