miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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