I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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