Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
