Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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