doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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