I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm lost and stupid without you.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
