normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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