dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
