You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I think my moral compass just broke
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