you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize