FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
