the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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