You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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