I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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