Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Can I color on your dick again?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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