I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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