Soap is not a condiment
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Randomize
