the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
