did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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