Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
