Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
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