How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
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