why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
