Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
