Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
