Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
