I didn't shave. On purpose
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
