What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
