so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
