I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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