I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
did i just pee glitter
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
