well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
