Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
