Joe is yelling at the trees again.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize