Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
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