Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
