She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
