get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
