I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
