i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
