its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
