No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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