margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
