I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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