just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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