Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
