did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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