I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
