In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
